Smothered Just Enough to Breath
by WindarianBird
Summary: This is a Hotaru/Makoto fic..I wrote it when I was still with my girlfriend, so please excuse the odd pairing


The Wedding  
  
Hotaru sighed in contentment as she rustled the folds of her wedding dress, checking for the hundredth time the purple roses speckled across the lacy surface. The corner of her mouth went up in a slight shadow of a smile as she fondly remembered the argument she had had with Makoto over whether she should have green on the dress or not, and how it grew when Hotaru flat out refused to have the roses be sugar pink. Hotaru chortled as she heard one of her oldest and dearest friends, Jewel, bustle around behind and around her. Hotaru often wondered about who was more stressed about the wedding, herself or Jewel.   
" I swear" Hotaru thought, "It's as if she's my mother"  
In a sense, Hotaru might just be able to consider Jewel her mother. She was more of a big sister, actually. Jewel had always been there for Hotaru, especially when she needed it most. Now, Jewel was having a lot of fun being the pregnant wedding advisor. A grin appeared on Hotaru's normally serene face as she heard a loud scuffle, and a shout of protest from Jewel.  
" No, you can't see her before the wedding, it's bad luck!"  
" Well, I hope that doesn't mean that because Hotaru and I met each other before we got married means we're going to have bad luck!" Was the clever response Hotaru's koi came out with. Hotaru let out a small laugh as Jewel hollered at her retreating lover.  
"Watch it! Who knows what I might do, I am pregnant and under a lot of stress!" Hotaru did her best to suppress the rest of her laughter along with the other members of the wedding at this remark. Jewel didn't have to be pregnant to do something dramatic when she felt it was necessary. Jewel promptly twirled around, and came out with a slightly quieter  
" Oh, go ahead and laugh, I know you all want to." All the participants of the wedding simply quietly went back to their work, and Jewel gave a sniff of satisfaction, and started giving orders again. Pretty soon she was yelling over all the pre-wedding chitchat, and Hotaru was already nauseous from pre-wedding jitters, and a headache over that? Uh-uh. She wasn't hurling while walking down the aisle. . She stepped over to the waiting room, and nudged Trowa, muttering  
" T-kun, do something!" Trowa grinned, and stood up. All eyes were drawn to him as he strode into the dressing room, and went over to Jewel.  
"Calm down honey, it's Hotaru's wedding, not ours"  
"Yes, well, at the rate we're going, it won't be for a long time!" Trowa just kissed her nose, then her lips. Jewel grinned, and let out as small "oomph" as the baby kicked. She placed Trowa's hand over the spot, and Trowa leaned over to kiss her again.  
" Feel it? Feel it kick?"  
" But of course dear, but of course" He had been feeling it kick for some time now, Jewel wasn't even supposed to be here. But, Jewel had demanded to come, and so come she did. Hotaru glided out of the dressing room as the music started, signifying that she would be walking down the aisle in but twenty minutes. She moved into the waiting room, and strayed into deep thought. She stared hazily about, lost in her perfect dreamland. Everything was just how she had pictured it, the decorations, and the food, the guests, especially the guests. She smiled softly as a thought passed her mind, not for the first time.  
" Who would ever think," she mused, "that I would get married to may best friend?" Her mind traveled back through time, to just before she had met her love.   
Her first friend, Ami, had prompted her meeting Makoto. Ami and Hotaru had immediately hit it off after meeting as scouts. Hotaru had never had any real friends before, she had always been feared, and craved attention, so when Ami offered friendship, she latched on, appreciating life to its fullest. Hotaru remembered how at the beginning of their friendship, she had drunken in the friendship, not sure how to be a friend in return. But, apparently she had finally done something right, for she and Ami were now the best of friends, and Hotaru was certain that they would remain that way forever. Anyways, Ami had immediately felt it was her duty to introduce Hotaru to all of her other friends, as well as insure that Hotaru maintained the relationships between them. The first person of which Hotaru had gotten introduced was Makoto. Hotaru smiled and shook her head as she though of how she first remembered Mako-koi. Makoto had come to the door, face blackened and looking bedraggled, and Hotaru could hear Usagi in the background, with a trademark "Oops"   
Makoto calmly started explaining how Usagi bugged her until she had eventually made Makoto give in, and Makoto attempted, yet again, to teach Usagi to cook. Hotaru just started laughing. Ami stared at her, for she rarely even saw Hotaru smile, and now she was exploding with laughter. Makoto then started laughing with her, until Ami's confusion gave away, and a smile split across her face, and the three of them sat there in the hallway, spreading the music of laughter out to the world. Hotaru and Ami left Makoto's apartment late that night, and Hotaru was swept up in the memory of this wonderful new friend of hers. She didn't respond to Ami's question until Ami was poking her.  
"So, do you like her?" Ami grinned her slightly lopsided grin, and Hotaru grinned right back.  
"Oh, yes, very much so. I do hope we can grow to be the best of friends." Ami then laughed, and said her farewell as they had reached Hotaru's house. Hotaru fell asleep that night, dreaming of Makoto and Ami, eagerly waiting the next time she would be graced by their presence.   
After that first day, it was all a wild ride. Hotaru had no idea whatsoever that anyone, not even Usagi, could have this much energy, and could make someone smile so much. Makoto had always been her favorite person. Sure, she loved all her other newfound friends just as dearly, and would die for any of them without thinking twice, but there was just something special about Makoto. Makoto would always seem to know the right thing to say, and always appeared at just the right times. Hotaru still had some bruises from some of their "adventures", but she did have to admit it was worth it every time. Those adventures were some of the best times of her life, even though they often resulted in disaster.   
Hotaru had never really quite gotten over one. That one was a long time ago, when they had just met, and Hotaru still couldn't find the words to describe Makoto, but, now that she thought about it, she still really couldn't. This event that had changed her so was also at the exact moment when Hotaru knew that Makoto was so much closer to her than she may have thought.   
Hotaru and Ami walked arm-in-arm over towards the hotel Makoto was staying at. Makoto had been very mean and gone up to the Sierra Mountains without telling anyone but Usagi.  
"Not a good idea" Hotaru thought to herself. Usagi was immediately bouncing around telling everyone the moment after Makoto left her driveway, as well as whispering very loudly at the end "Don't tell anyone, it's a secret"  
She and Ami knocked on the room that they were told belonged to Makoto Kino. When there came no response, Hotaru tried the handle. It opened. Ami went downstairs to see if Makoto had possibly been seen going out. Hotaru stared at the ajar door for a moment, then guiltily stepped into the room. What she saw was everything like the Makoto she knew. The bags were stored under the bed, Makoto's pajamas tucked behind her pillow. Hotaru stepped out onto the balcony for a quick breath, and was just about to leave the room, her guilt being too much for her to handle w the door flew open, and Makoto stood there holding up a baseball bat, apparently ready to beat up a robber. Hotaru backed up to the railing of the balcony.  
"AKK! DON'T HIT!! I'LL BE GOOD!! DON'T HIT!!" was the last thing Hotaru said before the baseball bat came down in a crack across her forehead, and she fell down into the snow, and was enveloped in unnatural sleep.  
When Hotaru awoke, she glanced around, and then felt the large welt on her forehead. She tried hard, but she could not remember anything past Usagi dancing around saying something about Makoto going to a ski lodge without telling her. She blinked, and then looked around. Apparently she was in a hotel room, in a twin bed, and there was someone beside her. Very much crowding her. She was sixteen after all, and she hardly fit into a twin bed herself. She was very carefully trying to remove herself from the crammed bed when the person let out a small "mph!" and rolled on top of her. Hotaru sighed, and then realized that the person so insistent on keeping her in the bed was Makoto.   
"Aargh. Makoto? Mooookoto? Get off, twitty twit!" Hotaru gently shook Makoto, trying to wake her, praying that it wouldn't take long. Makoto just kept on sleeping, and even snuggled down onto Hotaru more.   
"No fair. Not fair at all. Makoto, off, now. Please?" Hotaru pleaded with the sleeping girl. Hotaru sighed and reached over to the chair next to the bed, praying that she might be able to use it to propel Makoto off of her, and then escape this certain death of being squished, slowly but surely. As she groped in the faint light, she felt a small pile of cloth, and lifted up a very familiar pair of pants, and shirt. She stared at them for a moment, disbelieving, then realized that all she had on was her undergarments and the light cotton-sleeping shirt that Makoto usually wore. For some reason, Hotaru felt herself blush scarlet. She put the clothing back down, and moved a little to her side. She gave in, and snuggled closer, if possible, to Makoto. Hotaru slowly watched the sun turn the clouds and snow into a fiery orange, red, and magenta sea as she hesitantly, then calmly stroked Makoto's hair.  
In the morning, Makoto finally woke up. She rolled off of the numb Hotaru, who had for some reason had her hand deep in her hair, and Hotaru's head had been nestled warmly on her shoulder. Hotaru yawned and stretched sleepily, and uttered through all this  
"About time. You are the most persistent squisher I know. And you have the best swing of anyone I know. Where's Ami?" Makoto crawled out of bed, blushed at the second statement, and set about making breakfast with the small kitchen that the room had come with.   
"Ami went home after you didn't wake up in time for sunset. She said she'd call before she came up to get you today. But she probably won't be able to get you until tomorrow, considering the snow conditions. And I'm sorry about squishing you. I didn't mean to, it's just that you fell in the snow, and I had still thought that you were the burglar, so I checked my things and left you out there for a couple hours...When I finally went down to report, I looked where the burglar had fallen, and found, you. I then realized, what had happened, and at that point Ami came back. She had gone down the slopes a couple of times, assuming that I had come back, and we had gone out there, considering she knocked and nobody answered. I'm guessing that she knocked when I was out, getting a quick bite to eat. Would you like some eggs, or would you like some cere-" Makoto was cut off by Hotaru's sniffle. Even the slightest sign of discomfort or illness would set her off.  
"Hota-chan! What's wrong?" Makoto came dashing out of the kitchen. Hotaru shook her head; this wasn't like Makoto. Makoto usually would just bark some orders to lie down; she'll be done cooking in a moment.  
"Nothing. I probably caught a cold when I was in the snow for two or three hours, that's all. It's nothing for you to worry about. Go cook, I'll get a ride home. You came up here to be alone. I'll let you be, a'right?" With that Hotaru stood up, and ushered Makoto out into the kitchen, then set about getting dressed. Makoto shook her head and cooked, and was brining out a plate of eggs, just in time to see the door close as Hotaru left.   
Hotaru made her way down to the parking lot. She was pretty sure if she found a nice old man, he would give her a ride without her having to fear too much about child molestation. She was making her way over to a nice looking elderly couple loading up their car when there came screams from behind her. She whirled around to see that Makoto's room had burst into flames. Hotaru's eyes went wide in shock and then clouded in fear. She ran, her arms pumping at her sides, her lungs filled with the bitter cold air, then smoke, and then air as hot as fire as she made her way up to Makoto's room. She grabbed the handle, which burned her hand but did not impede her, and then threw the door open, putting her arms in front of her face and diving into the flames.  
"Makoto! Makoto! Where are you?!" Hotaru pushed foreword into the room, her jacket in flames, her face blackening every second she was in there, until she was thrown back by the television exploding. Slivers of glass flew everywhere, and Hotaru was slammed into the wall in the hallway, but Hotaru still tried to get up. Her knees failed her, so she crawled into the room, using the wall to support her. She stood up with a tremendous effort, and threw herself into Makoto's room again with the last of her body's reserves.  
"Makoto! Makoto, speak to me!" Hotaru let out a strangled sob as another explosion threw her back, and she could not move. She tried, but she could not move. She sobbed, and then sat in the hallway, watching what she just knew was her beloved friend burn slowly, until she slumped over onto her side, and cried. She cried until she saw Makoto running down the hall towards her, and Hotaru somehow found the strength to sit up and embrace Makoto in the strongest hug she could give.  
"I thought you were- that you were-" she was cut off in sobs, and Makoto stroked her hair and whispered into Hotaru's ear, gently rocking her back and forth  
"Shh. I'm here, I'm here. It's okay, I'm here"  
  
Hotaru looked down at the scars on her hands, and felt for the one on her shoulder. These scars were part of her vows. These were her scars, her scars of loyalty. Her scars were proof that she would do anything for Makoto. Hotaru gathered in the warmth of the fact that she was certain that she would always be there for Makoto. That was why she had asked Makoto to marry her; because Hotaru wanted to be certain that she would always be there for her beloved one. She was rather uneasy about that, Hotaru was constantly worried she wasn't doing enough for Makoto, had said the wrong thing, wasn't living up to the potential that she believed Makoto deserved. Every time Hotaru asked if she was being the person Makoto dreamed to be with, she had just laughed and said her cheerful "Of course!" and broke any protestations Hotaru had with a warm kiss that Hotaru just couldn't ignore, even if she had wanted to. Hotaru still felt uneasy about living up to her expectations, even though Makoto always said she was doing fine. Hotaru knew that she more often than necessary said sharp things, and basically made a complete jack ass of herself.... ah, oh well, Makoto was with her now, and that's all that mattered. Hotaru rose to move to the (insert word for the room that the bride and rest of the ceremony sit and wait to go down the aisle, like the room where the bride, ring barer, etc. here ^_^;;), and was immediately nearly ran over by the super-excited Ami. Hotaru just barely managed to keep her balance, thank Goddess that she had taken off her heels for the pinching factor, or else she would have fallen over, and done Goddess knows what damage to her dress.  
" Hotaru is getting maaa-ried! Hotaru is getting maaa-ried!" Ami whispered rather loudly. The ceremony had just started, and Chibi Chibi dressed up as the flower girl, absolutely adorable with a little pink, lacy dress with ribbons everywhere, made her way down the aisle, tossing violet and rose petals as she went. After her came Seiya, turned chibi by the power of Hotaru's glaive, as the ring barer. Then, Ami and Rai, each wearing their respective colors in sleek, satin gowns went down the aisle in succession, with Yaten and Duo in tow. Duo was complaining and itching at the edge of his tux the whole time, and Yaten wanted to know why he couldn't where his normal colored tux, but had to wear this black one instead. When these two made it to the end, Wufei and Minako, Minako looked gorgeous, wearing the same design of satin gown, but in wonderfully pleasing shades of gold, made their way down, and last was Heero and Quatre walking with Ryoko and Setsuna. Setsuna was wearing he same satin gown, but in breathtaking shades of the deepest gray and black, and Ryoko was wearing a saucy little orange number. Heero and Quatre were in tuxes, but Heero didn't have a tie, and the first button of his shirt was undone, but Quatre was clean and pressed, looking perfect. Hotaru watched him go down, knowing that right now if he turned to look at her, he and she both would have tears in their eyes. Hotaru went through some quick flashbacks of painful memories of her decision.  
Hotaru was startled awoke in her lovers arms as Makoto came bursting through Hotaru's apartment door soaking wet, tears coursing down her face, holding close to her body what appeared to be a cat. Hotaru sat upright, taking the sheet up with her, and asked sleepily  
"Makoto? Cat? What?" Quatre rolled over onto his side and pulled Hotaru down. He didn't want to get dragged into this crisis, and he wasn't going to let Hotaru get dragged into either. Hotaru grinned, and pried him off her, ushering Makoto to turn around as she grabbed a robe and put it on. She moved over to comfort her friend of four years as she burst into a sorrowful explanation of what had happened.  
" I was driving to see you, and it started raining. I guess I was going too fast, because the car slid off the road, and...and..." Makoto stopped for a moment to take a few deep breaths and to blow her nose. "And I killed him! I killed the cat!" Makoto launched into more tears.  
Hotaru, wanting to stop the tears, did something she did not plan, not in the least. She leaned down, and she kissed Makoto. She just gave her a quick kiss, not much more than a peck. Hotaru, fearful of what Makoto might say, blushed and looked down at her feet. Makoto just said;  
" I'm sick of hurting people, I'm sick of death, I'm sick of pain, and I'm sick of this tension between us!" Then she leant over and pressed her mouth up against Hotaru's. Hotaru, stood there in shock for a moment, then opened her mouth just a little. Makoto dove for the chance, and dived her tongue into Hotaru's mouth, pressing it more open, and wrapping her arms around Hotaru's waist, they were enveloped into a world of their own. The rain poured outside as Quatre just let his blue eyes tear as he watched them, knowing he had just lost his love.  
:: Work day, couple weeks later::  
A man with light, blonde hair is seen stooped over a pile of scattered papers. He looks up at a dark haired women, who smiles at him, and he goes back to work with double effort.  
:: A few months later::  
Hotaru ran out of Makoto's apartment screaming  
"No! I can't choose! Don't ask me to choose! I can't take this! I...I love you both!" Hotaru ran out into the night, leaving behind Quatre and Hotaru, both feeling like they were losing the war  
:: a year later::  
Hotaru holds Quatre close as she says good-bye. There is obvious pain in both of their eyes, but Quatre does not utter one word of protest. He knows that Hotaru wants to choose this path, so he lets her be. Hotaru gives him the last kiss they will ever share, and ducks out into the rain, just like that faithful night, and goes back to the apartment that Makoto and her would one day share.  
  
Hotaru smiled nervously up at Michi-mama. She had agreed to give Hotaru away, and Haru-papa was going to give Makoto away. Hotaru made her way down the aisle, always keeping in mind that this was her goal. She had made it to her goal. Her goal was...what was her goal? Hotaru though about that, but then was struck out of them as Makoto made her way down the aisle. She was taken away at the sheer beauty of her love. Her hair was put up into an elegant bun, the two strands down in front like usual. Her dress was form fitting, and silky white. The roses were sugar pink, as well as pine green. A veil covered her face, and Hotaru smiled at that. When Makoto reached the end of the aisle, the joined hands briefly, then stood side by side in front of Father Maxwell.  
The rest of the ceremony flew by. Hotaru and Makoto stated their vows, went through a small part of the religious ceremony, and then the big moment had come. Hotaru once again took Makoto's hand. Father Maxwell went into the familiar,  
" Do you, Hotaru Tomoe, take Makoto Kino as your lawful wedded beloved one, to love and to cherish, to support through sickness and in heat, until death do you part?" Hotaru took Makoto's hand from hers, and slid on a slender, silver band.  
"I do."  
  
That night, as Hotaru lay in her partner's arms, she thought about all the pain, and struggle and hurt that she went through to get to where she was, and if it was worth it. Then, Hotaru rolled over and looked into her lovers...no, her life companion's face, and nearly beat herself up for doubting. She didn't know if what Makoto had suffered through was worth it, but Hotaru knew that she would go back and do it all over again, just to be with Makoto, even for a day. She loved Makoto so much, that when she thought about, her heart nearly burst from it all. And that's exactly how it should be.  
  
  
  
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End file.
